Melissa’s Story
Subscribe to Dr. Hotze's Newsletter
Begin your path to Health & Wellness right here!
“I was maxed out on Effexor and Wellbutrin. Plus I was taking Risperdal, an antipsychotic. I took it along with Lithium. PLUS Ambien to put me to sleep, Ativan to keep me asleep and Provigil to keep me awake during the day.”
Melissa’s Story,
On May 27, I came to the Hotze Health & Wellness Center for my first visit. I was a 36 year old female that opted to stay at home and raise our son who was 2 1/2 years old at that time. I was barely able to function.
Before my son was born, I tried to be smart and plan everything out. I had been told by a former doctor that post partum depression was not possible, but probable, should I ever become pregnant. Because of my history, I knew this was a great risk for me. I had been down that road a few times.
After becoming pregnant, I found an excellent psychiatrist close by and had it all set up. He told me if I got post partum depression that I would know in about six to eight weeks. However, the depression did not wait. I developed severe depression during my pregnancy. Not to mention that I was extremely sick on a daily basis with nausea. I had to quit my part time job picture framing because of this and also because my concentration was diminishing. I did not want to make too many mistakes at work; that costs money. I left quietly.
Then the suicidal thoughts popped up. No matter how much I willed them, they would not go away. I was hanging in there by a thread. I could do nothing to harm the baby. I would have to wait until after the baby was born. Those were my thoughts. About the sixth month mark the thoughts were rampant. My extreme morning sickness had ceased for that month. Sometimes I did not know which was worse, the terrible thoughts I could really share with no one or the all day sickness which prohibited me from wanting to do much. At this time I was maxed out on Zoloft. Towards the end I developed anemia.
Ten weeks after our son was born, I finally dragged myself into see that psychiatrist. I suffered from exhaustion and the bad thoughts. Over the course of a couple years, I saw him on a weekly basis constantly readjusting and adding medication. By the time I went to the Hotze Health & Wellness Center, I was maxed out on Effexor and Wellbutrin. Plus I was taking Risperdal, an antipsychotic. Another antipsychotic drug tried was Geodon. I have never considered myself to be psychotic!?! I took it along with Lithium. PLUS Ambien to put me to sleep, Ativan to keep me asleep and Provigil to keep me awake during the day. I got maybe two to three hours asleep at night…maybe. Thinking my problem was sleep apnea, I took a sleep study. It is almost impossible to take that test when you can’t sleep. I had to change primary care physicians to be able to retake it. The one PCP I had told me just to lose weight. Eventually, I got the lovely CPAP machine. But how are you supposed to sleep with the mask on your nose if you always congested?
I had started suffering from allergies a few years earlier. Then I would just get a headache between my eyes. I had one for 3 months solid. I tried hard not to develop an attitude. After several doctors and 3 antibiotics, I had some relief. Once a doctor gave me strong antibiotic samples to take and I took them according to his orders. The headache subsided finally for a week, but I found out on the next visit I took the samples twice as fast. The next doctor gave me prednisone and it helped, but he could not leave me on that. He then prescribed me Imitrex. Because of pressure behind my eyes, occasional temperature, and the fact the prednisone helped, I told him I did not think it was a migraine. He agreed, but prescribed me the Imitrex anyhow.
I made a point to never do illegal drugs, why did I think so many legal ones would be any different? My mother would always tell me when I was younger, “Melissa, you get your thyroid checked when you get older.” I did several times. Once the TSH was actually low, but by the time I made it to the endocrinologist (after numerous referral problems), I was fine. For many years I witnessed my mother on Synthroid. She was so excited one time to have it increased, but she continued to have symptoms. If anything I had become my mother years later. Oh dear. Overweight (I gained 75 lbs after I gave birth, after losing 8 lbs while pregnant.), lethargic, depressed, allergy problems, sleeping problems. Unfortunately, I wish I knew of Hotze earlier. My mom committed suicide on Christmas of 1993. I know now she could have been helped….
Now, I could have done ECT treatments with VA for free. That is Electroconvulsive therapy or commonly called shock therapy. I had already had six of those compliments of the Army. I had been a Second Lieutenant in the Army stationed in none other than paradise, Hawaii that is. I was a promising new officer that graduated with honors, had a Regular Army commission, and had even went to Airborne school and jumped from a plane to earn my “wings.” It ended abruptly.
I couldn’t remember how many people were in my platoon; I felt terrible because I was responsible for their safety and well-being. This was right after the breakout in the Gulf War. I forgot to put the insoles in my boots for a road march once. I walked on the gathered leather nailed down to the soles. My feet were a mess. I could not even remember my own phone number. I pulled out the phone book to look up the city for the first three numbers; however, I could not put the last four together. I was forgetting to eat. I would cry every morning on the way to work, and was living on rainbows. Thank goodness Hawaii has lots of them every day, usually two at a time.
It was devastating to have worked so hard for so many years only to later get medically boarded out of the Army. I had been hospitalized for five months. I did not want to leave until I was completely cured. There I was prescribed Despramine, Trazadone, Lithium, Nortriptyline, and the ECT treatments which were meant for severe depression. If I thought the ECT was effective, I would have done them again. You have to go under general anesthesia. You are given a muscle relaxer and mouth guard so not to break any bones or teeth. The whole point is to make your body have a seizure and to electrically stimulate your neurotransmitters. A single electrode is placed on the head. Later, I would have a terrible headache for the rest of the day. Some did say I smiled after having a few of these treatments. For years later I existed on Zoloft with ups and downs until my pregnancy, but never with the quality of life like now.
I was barely able to make it in to the Hotze Health & Wellness Center. I had also developed complete menstrual nightmare after delivering my son. Long, heavy, irregular, and painful periods that kept me at home. I had all the symptoms of hypothyroidism except joint pain. Plus to top everything off I became one BIG itch. I just knew for sure I was cursed. I would scratch uncontrollably, even in my sleep. I would wake up from my two hours of sleep with about ten or more Band-Aids in my hand. They had been applied the night before. I am quite the connoisseur of Band-Aids now. I would tell the lady at the check out that I was stocking up. But I did not tell them the Band-Aids were just for one week. I went from store to store to get them. I could not even tell Dr. Sheridan or anyone that it was this bad. I itched literally from my head to my toe. I almost did not go in because I was embarrassed, but I knew I needed to. I have the scars all over to show for this. It is still an embarrassment. You cannot really wear long sleeves in Texas year round. After starting bio-identical hormones, this however started to clear up without me mentioning the severity of it. Amazing…..
My suicidal thoughts were constant for about three years when going in. I had them not only on a daily but hourly basis. I could barely keep my eyes open during the day to watch my son. All of his physical needs were met. I pushed myself. I would take a shower in the morning then would be completely exhausted and would have to just sit down for a little while. I couldn’t wait for my son’s nap time so I could take one. I would cry when I went to check on him at night. I wondered how much longer I would be around for him. Things were pretty hopeless. I had to keep this to myself. I could not even tell my husband how bad things really were. I did not want him to worry.
I even thought maybe what I had at one point was a spiritual problem so I sought counseling with a pastor. I wanted to cover all the bases to get well, to leave no stone unturned. I knew suicide was not an option. I was so disappointed with myself and my inability to get even the simplest of things done. Once when doing the dishes, I just stared at them wondering what I was to do next. It was like walking into a room and forgetting what you went in there for, only I never left my spot. After what must have been minutes, I realized I was supposed to be rinsing those dishes in the other sink. My pastor, however, jumped out of his seat when I told him. Later he told me he had no sympathy for me and I just wanted attention. I never wanted this kind of attention. I made a point not to mention it to anyone and mostly suffered quietly.
Upon my initial visit, I discovered I also had osteopenia. The Center knew how to treat me before he ever saw me because of the comprehensive history taken earlier on phone. He took one look at me and could tell I was hypothyroid. He started with my fine hair which I didn’t realize I was losing. He noted my sparse eyebrows, puffy and pale face, teeth indentations on my swollen tongue (I call it scalloped tongue). I had dry skin, cold feet to touch, my temperature was low in the afternoon, and I imagined I looked pretty listless. He kept things short for me, thank goodness. On other visits he told me I should have zero mood and zero pain concerning menstrual cycles, that no one can predict the reactions that all those medications could have (My former organic chemistry professor who is part genius agreed with this), and that I should be greedy (as in not settling) when I told him I still had one moody day of the month and I was okay with that.
The most incredibly amazing thing was that within two weeks my suicidal thoughts ceased….POOF……they were completely gone. Never to have returned. JOY, JOY, JOY!! I was placed on Armour Thyroid, progesterone, cortisol, and testosterone. It took me a full year to taper off ALL my psychotropic drugs with reluctance from my psychiatrist. I was told after the fact that Effexor was brutal to come off and Ambien was addictive. I never wanted to be on anything of that nature and would have appreciated knowing this before I took any drug. The Ambien was very difficult to come off, but I started cutting and tapering myself. It took a good while but now I finally can sleep as soon as I hit the bed and feel rested after a full nights sleep.
The sleep apnea disappeared too. I have not had to take any antibiotics for allergies. My skin has cleared. I do not have to clean my hair out of the shower drain twice a week or pick it off my clothes. I used to purposely brush my hair first then put my shirt on. My thinking is better than ever, sharp and intact. I have big plans now; those are yet to be revealed. I am a slow bloomer concerning the diet; but without changing my eating habits, I lost 30 pounds within a year. A testament to having a metabolism again. The once quiet, shy Melissa is no more. I have emerged into a new me. In hindsight, I believe I could have benefited from this when younger, in my teens if not earlier.
I am eternally grateful to Dr. Sheridan and to Dr. Hotze plus all of the helpful and welcoming staff. It is a sheer pleasure to go to the doctor’s office now. I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to it. I now have to go only once a year, instead of the once a week if not more. I am happy and glad to be really living life to its fullness for the first time it seems. I am grateful for a loving and supportive husband and for my wonderful son. As far as I am concerned I have already won. And all this by the grace of God.
It is also hard to pull a label off once it has been stuck on you. I do not like that this is called alternative medicine by some; it should be mainstream. I speak of this now for the benefit for others. Not to do what I did; learn from my trials.
This entry was posted on Wednesday, May 31st, 2006 at 1:42 am and is filed under Success Stories. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
